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I need 2...
Start focusing like a fucking soldier...life is life...up and down...but I cant not not give a fuck so much in the downs that im tripping myself...SUCK IT UP
So I decided...
to stop being so fucking miserable, it's boring...sitting still is boring, I need to work out...
but then I was gonna check my vacation dates from school to go to LA i January only to realize that there seem to be no time for that. Wtf now...
Honestly, I just wanna get away and I can't wait...
but then I was gonna check my vacation dates from school to go to LA i January only to realize that there seem to be no time for that. Wtf now...
Honestly, I just wanna get away and I can't wait...
Fuck that new girl that you like so bad...
Overheard some foreign students...
talking about being on a information meeting about what's legal and not legal in Sweden and they said "...and so basically everything is illegal"...lmao...I wonder which laws were bothering them and where they are from.
First day of school
I didn't really feel like my final BA semester walking to school. The old me would have dresses up to look professional or something...new me, whatever is layin on the floor I can wear. I was way on time and that's when you don't appreciate the academic quarter which means 15 min flex. The schedule will say 10, but class starts 10.15.
As I was sitting there in the information class room I started feeling trapped and just NOT liking the situation. The institution hasn't changes a bit since I took my first year of Political Science there 05/06. Looooong time ago...how am I suppose to remember the methodology I learned then to have it on more advanced level now...FML. A little undepressing renovation bitte. Well, I had to think and breath to not let that feeling of panic grow into a total panic attack.
Walking home I was freezing and it's not even close to winter. I'm gonna die in the cold to and from school. And I guess I will be standing in cold and snow a lot at this train station, yaaay.
As I was sitting there in the information class room I started feeling trapped and just NOT liking the situation. The institution hasn't changes a bit since I took my first year of Political Science there 05/06. Looooong time ago...how am I suppose to remember the methodology I learned then to have it on more advanced level now...FML. A little undepressing renovation bitte. Well, I had to think and breath to not let that feeling of panic grow into a total panic attack.
Walking home I was freezing and it's not even close to winter. I'm gonna die in the cold to and from school. And I guess I will be standing in cold and snow a lot at this train station, yaaay.
Put me 2 sleeeeeeep
It's 5 in the morning and I haven't fallen asleep yet...hyper tierd by now...I'm starting to feel a little koko, but a good sign is that I know Im a little koko for now...real koko people don't know they are koko because the build their perception of the world thereafter. Yupp for now Im a psychiatric expert toooo lol...but something like that.
Did you know that there is estimated to be about one psycho in each class...thats a lot.
Did you know that there is estimated to be about one psycho in each class...thats a lot.
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Can humans...
...suffocate themselves with pillows or is it one of those things one can't do because of self preservation...you know like they say we can't bite ourselves to bleed between the pointing finger and the thumb. Just laying awake thinking about useless shit, being frustrated...
It's three in the night and I'm wide awake thinking of banging my head into something because tomorrow I start school and it's freaking me out, one of my friends in LA is in the hospital with an IV ( i bet the morphine is nice thou) having me worried, people telling me they miss me, me telling people I miss them...all the LA photos and updates in my face...should disconnect, but then maybe people forget me :/
Since I've spent a lot of time in my room since I got back it's starting to feel like a cube...that I have locked myself into...why is this change so hard????
Tattoo think
Gosh, thinking about a tattoo or two or three, is exhausting. Well as long as the mean something to me and ain't no motherfucking trends...I think I will get a little addicted if I make one...
Need to really think this through...it will be text, so much I'm sure about, leaning mostly to latin, where is another question.
A tattoo blog http://rodeo.net/tattoologist/
Need to really think this through...it will be text, so much I'm sure about, leaning mostly to latin, where is another question.
A tattoo blog http://rodeo.net/tattoologist/
Drunk like a turtle, hung over like a sailor
1. I wasn't ready for party yesterday, so I should have acted on that feeling.
"Are you ok sweety"
2. L tells me I'm gonna get fucked up after telling her I hadn't been sleeping, I left out I hadn't been eating a whole lot either.
3. When a guy you do not know have to help you put on your shoes, should be a sign saying do not go to the pub. Let's just say there were plenty of signs this wasn't my night as you will read :P
I drank my bottle of red, they poured shots...fuck shots...sitting down everything is ok, but once we were about to hit the bars and started moving I got more drunk by the minute without drinking further. Cab ride is a blur, I fell in the ally and hurt my knees...aouch...I sit outside the bar to get some air...I unlocked my phone after 100 trials, uncapable of writing understandable no matter how hard I tried...
Thought "Shit, my home town can't see me like this I have to go home", luckily almost around the corner...stumble home, have a car following me...creepy...I sit down on the balcony to sober up, well ain't happening. I walk towards the door and fall on my back. I couldn't get up so I was just lying there thinking this is not happening. My plan was to lay there and sober up, till it hit me that my bed is just inside that door. So I pick up the phone and call my dad :D
"Daddy, can you please help me, I'm so drunk that I fell outside the door laying on my back like a flipped turtle trying to get up"
"Umm ok, the coded door, or the one just out here?"
"Let's just say I'm laying three meters from my bed"
He came and picked me up and helped me to my bed, my hero. Just saying that getting by the coded door is skills...if we ignore the rest and what happened next.
I must have been about to pass out when I hear the Beverly Hills song 90210 and see the after titles thinking aww, it's over, I hope there is another episode...when it hits me...I don't even have a TV in my room so how am I watching Beverly Hills????? I'm to young for that to, I watched like Dawsons creek. It's spinning and spinning so I drag my ass to the bathroom to throw up...my dad comes to the door to check on me.
"Are you ok sweety"
"Yupp, just puking pink spaghetti with my legs around the toilet, but I'm ok dad, thanx"
It's creepy being that drunk and then still be able to think more sober than your body that is no longer capable.
I think...
...I just had an emotion that almost made me almost cry...I haven't cried in 2 years now, I just thought to myself to think stone...well it works for the tear channels, but not for the feelings...still have those.
Talking to S:Boo about her going to SMC tomorrow was how that feeling came...flashback in my head over places I like, people I like, my life over there and I can't just go outside my door anymore to see that and them. She is over there and I'm over here...my heart is still in LA and my mind is failing to adjust to Sweden just being all fucking numb...it's just so weird...
Talking to S:Boo about her going to SMC tomorrow was how that feeling came...flashback in my head over places I like, people I like, my life over there and I can't just go outside my door anymore to see that and them. She is over there and I'm over here...my heart is still in LA and my mind is failing to adjust to Sweden just being all fucking numb...it's just so weird...
Miss you luvs...
and now everybody flew back to LA after their Swedish vacation and I feel left behind...what, I should be on a plane home to, only to realize that I'm stuck here...missing, thinking of ways out of this...
If only...
...i was gonna write wish, but I'm not gonna waste a wish....if only I could just sleep right now, it's past 6 in the morning. I even skipped the party...yeah what's wrong with me? I was gonna find a party friend to bring and had like zero success. It's like they all "grew up" or moved or are where I left them. With other words, just not here...
Got out of bed 2.30, which has become a habbit, and was back in bed at 8. My dad asked if I wanted to go buy candy like 9...I really wanted to stay in bed, but if candy doesn't get me out of bed they will get worried :P so candy we bought...and yeah fuck this headache...
Got out of bed 2.30, which has become a habbit, and was back in bed at 8. My dad asked if I wanted to go buy candy like 9...I really wanted to stay in bed, but if candy doesn't get me out of bed they will get worried :P so candy we bought...and yeah fuck this headache...
I should be sick of IKEA...
but when the Ikea catalog arrived in the mail box as it does in every swedish home I grabbed it and...threw it on the table, why should I look in it. I don't have an apartment right now. Today I looked at it again and remembered that it will be valid for a whole year and I'm getting an apartment in january or febuary soooo I can look in it :)
How about a bunk bed....yay...like a fortress and a hiding place underneath...awsome...I'm taking this so seriously...I do...I mean it. Saves space you know ;)
How about a bunk bed....yay...like a fortress and a hiding place underneath...awsome...I'm taking this so seriously...I do...I mean it. Saves space you know ;)
Nothing wrong with My nightstand :p
My dad looked into my bedroom and said I just love what you have done with your nighstand lol. Now that I don't work or study I can take a drink any day, any time for any occasion :p
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Watch the meatloaf...
-"We need to go, watch the meatloafin the owen"
""Umm, ok...I'm setting the alarm" (When are they gonna learn that I'm not capable of that)
10 minutes later...Why is there a timer running on my phone?....hmm...it's to remember something..................................oh fuck , the meatloaf........probably burning while I'm writing this because I forgot about it again attending to writing about it...!?!?
""Umm, ok...I'm setting the alarm" (When are they gonna learn that I'm not capable of that)
10 minutes later...Why is there a timer running on my phone?....hmm...it's to remember something..................................oh fuck , the meatloaf........probably burning while I'm writing this because I forgot about it again attending to writing about it...!?!?
Men as objects and toys?
I have reached a point where men are like objects, like food...yummy and sometimes you would just like to get a bite, but at least I can control that. Eyecandying a lot :P It's just that I have no desire or rush to get a boyfriend and be back in that fuzzy shit right now...dudes say all you want, but giving girlfriends all that relationship shit ain't working no more, you can be clingy and winy to. I don't know what have made me like this...maybe men in general, but yeah you guys are just a big piece of meat right now...and I'm not in to commit or hear your feelings...I'm in it to play with shiny toys...:P
Mismo...
A friend popped up for some help today and I tried the FB video chat for the first time...wiii. He is a total douche sometimes always pulling my leg, but when he started the conversation with "mismo" I knew it wasn't to pull my leg this time...for some reason that's one of the cutest words to me haha.
He got into an expensive school starting in a couple of days and needed to talk, I guess I'm the person for that. Sometimes people just need somebody to bounce ideas with and get an opinion from somewhere else. Got a copy of his acceptance letter to read...made me wish I had one.
Next time...wear a shirt dude...a little distracting :P
He got into an expensive school starting in a couple of days and needed to talk, I guess I'm the person for that. Sometimes people just need somebody to bounce ideas with and get an opinion from somewhere else. Got a copy of his acceptance letter to read...made me wish I had one.
Next time...wear a shirt dude...a little distracting :P
Trapped...
I feel like I have been taken to prison, like there is walls all around me and there is nothing to do about it...I know I'm ment to break them, but I have no strenght...feeling no freedome...
Everybody is flying back to LA now and I'm being left behind, handcuffed to Sweden...fuck if only it at least was my ass on the pic :P
The hawtie in CSI Miami...
I love how my mom knows when it's CSI Miami on TV and calls on me..."It's 8, come, your hottie is on TV tonight"...lol she's cute...feeding me some eyecandy...
Up looking for a job...
Hmm...how about applying for a job as a taxi driver just for fun :P I would scare the shit out of the customers and ask them for directions lmao...I can drive, but people make it seem like I can't :P
I'm up searching sites for possible jobs, so I can pay my bills and save up to a vacation and to furnish my apartment in spring :). I wanna get a job so bad, but it has to be next to school. I'm super nervous about doing my BA essay....but I can do it :)
I'm applying for all kinds off jobs, but often they are to advanced or want you to have worked in that area already...
I'm up searching sites for possible jobs, so I can pay my bills and save up to a vacation and to furnish my apartment in spring :). I wanna get a job so bad, but it has to be next to school. I'm super nervous about doing my BA essay....but I can do it :)
I'm applying for all kinds off jobs, but often they are to advanced or want you to have worked in that area already...
I have a little girl crush lol...
I'm not gay, or even bi, but this summer I totally got a girl crush. I sat there and spoke to her on the beach one evening with a beer and when she spoke I was just like, if we were gay or bi I would make this girl my girlfriend. Funny is that I think she would maybe be prefect for one of my friends over there in the states.
...but I mean Katy Perry tried it ;)
If skinny bitches can do it...
...then so can I. I'm not gonna become to skinny, but some pounds needs to GO. Wish I could keep my boobs thou. Just shared a Ben & Jerrys with dad, but it stops now...from now on I'm a control all the food thats gonna enter my mouth and not care what people think about it...need vitamins with that so I don't get all weak...
I can do this...
I can do this...
Cooked 4 mom and dad :)
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Bite the bullet...
I don't call this move back home something I did voluntary...it was more of a have to. I miss my "home", I miss the sun and all the scenery. Sun, palm trees and people accepting retarded me is the very happy foundation for my life to function it seems. Now it's all changed and people think I should suck it up...huh?...I get that suck it up can apply to a situation, but it sure as hell should not apply to your life fuckers...
Then they are those people that understand, so a very understandable guy friend wrote that it's called "transition anxiety", big, quick changes like moving, the brain have a hard time adjusting and so you lose ground. Even your mind has a certain daily life routine and raise flags now that it's too much to cope with.
As confused as I am right now, I do believe in FATE...hopefully it will take me somewhere that I'm ment to be...
4 love of skinny and food
Its 4.30 pm and I have non deliberatly not eaten...Im a little hungry, but damn I "feel" skinny...the mirror would kill it thou...yeah I know eat and exersize...just totally get Victoria Beckham when she said : "I love eating, but I love beibg skinny more"...right now I still love food more :/
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Passed half the X test...
So I have honestly felt that I no longer care about my X or the fact that he got a new girlfriend I went to school with...
She comes driving in his car turning in on his street and I think damn she looks good in that car lol...well I probably did too ;)
Bottom line, weird I once drove that car, but nothing else, im relived...my other half of the I dont care anymore test would be seeing him...
She comes driving in his car turning in on his street and I think damn she looks good in that car lol...well I probably did too ;)
Bottom line, weird I once drove that car, but nothing else, im relived...my other half of the I dont care anymore test would be seeing him...
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How I buy a smoothie...
Pickin flavor is hard so I ask the girl behind the register:
-"Which flavor out of the three do you like the most?"
-"Mango - Passion"
-"And 2nd?"
-" Apple - Kiwi -?"
"Ok, so then I would like a Strawberry-Bluberry" :)
-"Which flavor out of the three do you like the most?"
-"Mango - Passion"
-"And 2nd?"
-" Apple - Kiwi -?"
"Ok, so then I would like a Strawberry-Bluberry" :)
My little gangsta...
I was gonna go out for a little walk with T3, but had to dress him first and get a hold of some clothes in the laudry room. "Put this on"..."It's not my clothes, it's T2's"...They were obviously to big, but he looked so cool in those oversized clothes lol. He is the coolest and will break many hearts some day...
Yo this is my hood lol...
Peace out...
Can't hear ya'll...decided he has to get a little older before I teach him fuck you :P
The guy with the three sisters...
T deicided it was time for LA vacation people to have a reunion :) Great food, great wine, rosé beer, cider...yeah I did not stop drinking, but it was all fun when we had a LA photo run through with her LA playlist (makes me miss thou) and then just being all retarded ending up with them commenting on my friends cool Dougie...so in on youtube and had Cali Swag teach us how to Dougie..conclusion, damn we are "white" lol...
My brother got known in the Casino as the guy with the three sisters lol...we might have been a little distracting supporting our little brother ;)
T have painted her hall way New York style...although not a fan of pink, it look fucking awsome.
Her cosy place makes me long for the day I have my own place again, but I'm not sure I feel like living alone, kind of boring now that I'm used to living with somebody. Tripped and bounced off that mini couch lol...it was sooo soft catching my fall and sending me to the floor.
Visited my old job...
I visited my old job the other day and yes if you can see the picture clearly I worked with baby stuff lol. Weird knowing more than mothers about this sometimes, but it comes in handy now that I will be baby shopping with J and her baby bump.
Also weird telling a customer I dont work here or not being able to answer the ringing phone :/ but if there are no hours...
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Labels can be confusing...
The human minds are excellent at labels...in the US I got called white girl a lot...to me those labels are jokes, I don't care to label your skin color...I care to label you as a good or bad person, like or don't like.
So to the label "white people"....I asked
-"What constitutes being "white"?"
-"Obviously a person with white skin"
-"So an arab is a white person?"
-"No"
-"?...I think they have white skin"
-"Nahh, they are something else"
I still don't know where that "label boundary" is, but not sure I need to, just curious how people see it...
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To the label "brown people"
So my Mexican American girlfriends sit and joke:
-"Brown people have sooo many kids and....bla bla"
-"Brown people?...you mean black people?"
-"No, brown people, like us...beaners haha" Point to her skin
-"I have never ever heard that label and your skin is kinda white, I'm more brown than you girl"
-"My skin is olive"
-"Yupp and I'm not a brunette...I'm Hazelnut"
I'm highly confused by all these skin labels...all these shades of a hair colors...how about we go by light, medium, dark...small, medium, big...naiv, more naiv, most naiv...
So to the label "white people"....I asked
-"What constitutes being "white"?"
-"Obviously a person with white skin"
-"So an arab is a white person?"
-"No"
-"?...I think they have white skin"
-"Nahh, they are something else"
I still don't know where that "label boundary" is, but not sure I need to, just curious how people see it...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
To the label "brown people"
So my Mexican American girlfriends sit and joke:
-"Brown people have sooo many kids and....bla bla"
-"Brown people?...you mean black people?"
-"No, brown people, like us...beaners haha" Point to her skin
-"I have never ever heard that label and your skin is kinda white, I'm more brown than you girl"
-"My skin is olive"
-"Yupp and I'm not a brunette...I'm Hazelnut"
I'm highly confused by all these skin labels...all these shades of a hair colors...how about we go by light, medium, dark...small, medium, big...naiv, more naiv, most naiv...
Not so long ago...
I can remember I laughed so hard I thought to myself, I haven't laughed this hard in like forever...still I don't remember at what or even with who...fail...well at least it was in Sweden, so there is hope...gosh maybe it was one of the stand up comedians online :P
Laughing is the best...
Laughing is the best...
Fighting psychology is hard...
...I always try and figure out the psychology behind things...sure I'm chill chillin, but automatically I analyze you, like I constantly analyze myself...
My brain has always been like a spider web constantly shooting strings to attach or whatever...kind of annoying sometimes actually, comes to handy in my major and stuff...but as for now with almost nothing to do...it's driving me fucking crazy...
Anyhow, I'm not so sure where I'm going with that anymore...am I proving something? Testing people? Being rebellious? Going with or against? or am I trying to let people down on purpose? I'm so tangled up I should just rest my head and just do what I wanna do without analyzing the psychology to fight it...
What's the point?
...I really don't see the point of anything, but making money right now...
I startled myself today by not only thinking; What's the point of being in Sweden once more, but today also; What's the point of going back to LA? Like pulling the rug under my own feet, because now I'm even more clueless...
...I just wanna work, because it's also something to do, but jobs are hard to come by nowadays :/
I startled myself today by not only thinking; What's the point of being in Sweden once more, but today also; What's the point of going back to LA? Like pulling the rug under my own feet, because now I'm even more clueless...
...I just wanna work, because it's also something to do, but jobs are hard to come by nowadays :/
Cat and Lilo
7TH FLOOR...lmao...
We had each others backs and were so tight doing LA and SMC together...we were wild, we were crazy, we had soooo much fun. It feels like 5 years ago, but it was only 1,5 year ago...
Through thunders and lightning, fights and "break ups"being like day and night...She is my crazy Cat, I'm her crazy Lilo and that's that...I love you...
Ohh...and she was the one that started Lilo...I never had a nickname before...it caught on lol...
Pochahontas in leather...
Yeah, a smile is just too much to ask for :P...
My new jacket I have been looking 4 for like 5 years...details in gold is just my thing...had 2 leave it the first time...hard when crushing...but since I left my old jacket in the US I had none and so I got sponsored to this jacket after it's been my birthday :) Thanks mom, dad, grandma <3
Too fake...
Look out!
Cause I'm just too fake for the world, I know it's just a game to me...I'm just too fake you see I wish I didn't have to be but watch out...I got too much soul for the world It's breaking my heart in two...I got too much soul for you, I don't like it but it's true...I swear I'm too real to be livin so fake...
Coming home drunk...
1. Getting into conversations and have stronger feelings or thoughts about them after drinking...or in my case sometimes...absolutely lack of them :P
2. Fitting the key in the door can be a problem, at least it wasn't the wrong door, which wasn't easy at the plaza when numbers melted together and the door looked the same...opening an unlocked door an the apartment looking a lot different in one night is a clue...
3. Brushing teeth just feels different...and your trying to make it last as long as if sober.
4. All of a sudden your clothes are an enemy tight as a condom trying to get off...
5. Getting a hold off one of those tall glasses trying to get water out of a sink smaller then in the kitchen...
6. Crawling in to bed is like...man this is nice...I'm a pass out goooood...
7. I'm gonna add...don't forget to text your friends you made it home...with an hour...or at all if they ask you to :P
2. Fitting the key in the door can be a problem, at least it wasn't the wrong door, which wasn't easy at the plaza when numbers melted together and the door looked the same...opening an unlocked door an the apartment looking a lot different in one night is a clue...
3. Brushing teeth just feels different...and your trying to make it last as long as if sober.
4. All of a sudden your clothes are an enemy tight as a condom trying to get off...
5. Getting a hold off one of those tall glasses trying to get water out of a sink smaller then in the kitchen...
6. Crawling in to bed is like...man this is nice...I'm a pass out goooood...
7. I'm gonna add...don't forget to text your friends you made it home...with an hour...or at all if they ask you to :P
Its my DVD's...
So most of my stuff are in boxes since over 2 years back...except my DVD's that i asked to be kept in a box. My dad wanted them up...fair enough...but I can see there is a lot of them missing...
"Your brothers have borrowed some"
"F#c&ing...aeghggffagh...who do you think I was protecting them from?"
Now my brothers are gonna claim it's theirs or switch them for shitty movies I know I dont own. Awsome...AND my sex and the city box i scratched...my limited ed band of brother box has a dent...arrghhh...goosefraba, only movies...
"Your brothers have borrowed some"
"F#c&ing...aeghggffagh...who do you think I was protecting them from?"
Now my brothers are gonna claim it's theirs or switch them for shitty movies I know I dont own. Awsome...AND my sex and the city box i scratched...my limited ed band of brother box has a dent...arrghhh...goosefraba, only movies...
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I never thought I say this...
but I actually want school to start...like now...I'm bored and need it over with cause it's kind of cool if I might get my BA in January...
A "pair" of good news today...
First I get called up about an inventory job I applied for to make some money first week in school, actually with a good pay. The girl must have liked me, because then she e-mailed me about being a consultant leader too with a better pay. Umm, yes please...hope it's all good :)
Then I saw an e-mail from the graduation department and it looks like I'm getting my BA in January to start my Master i Febuary :) also, if I dare to hope that the university excepts more than one semester out of my SMC classes...I'm actually already ahead on my 2nd BA...wii...I will probably always take a class next to my job and have like one master and 3 BA's haha...
Converse Expert
My 9 year old niece to her friends:
"Girls, you can't tie your Converse like that, give them to my auntie and she will make them cool...she is a Converse expert" lol...
About to lose my mind...
I'm not good with chilling to much and shit not happening. So when my friends are free and something happens, yeah they sort of get an overdose of me without me even being on Monster, which I gave up in LA, except for one slip 3 weeks ago or so...keep asking me what I'm on lol...I'm on something is happening :D
I'm a bout to explode, I need to be productive, I need to work. School starts the 29th...I want it to start cause of something to do, but I do not wanna take Political Science BA semester...
Is there anything I wanna do? Besides fly to LA...and make money :P
I'm a bout to explode, I need to be productive, I need to work. School starts the 29th...I want it to start cause of something to do, but I do not wanna take Political Science BA semester...
Is there anything I wanna do? Besides fly to LA...and make money :P
?...I'm fucked...
Seriously, where the fuck did my money go?...
Why did I check my bank statement after this long? swipe card, swipe card...Why before bed time?...now I really have to find a job or I will like die...I have been thinking about saving to go on vacation to LA in January, but now it's almost like f-in survival...like paying for breathing...
This semester I will learn what it's like to be poor...but fuck that I'm a get greedy...just savy and say no to shit which will make me unhappy, but hopefully focused on school...I'm a get CSN again in January.
Some day...
Why did I check my bank statement after this long? swipe card, swipe card...Why before bed time?...now I really have to find a job or I will like die...I have been thinking about saving to go on vacation to LA in January, but now it's almost like f-in survival...like paying for breathing...
This semester I will learn what it's like to be poor...but fuck that I'm a get greedy...just savy and say no to shit which will make me unhappy, but hopefully focused on school...I'm a get CSN again in January.
Some day...
Baby boom started
So long it's been my older more distant friends that popped out babies and even that's weird sometimes seeing them being parents now...but now I find out that my old BFF is having a baby and let me tell you how happy I am, because she has been talking about it for a while and is one of those born mothers.
Then I find out that one of the girls in my gurl circle here in my hometown is having a baby too, maybe twins...sooo lol, she was the 1st one in the circle...we sort of guessed that...now we have to move the guess to nr 2. Funny is that a little more than 2 years ago, they had me down for nr 1 to have a baby...they can't have been thinking clearly because I see myself as umm not having a baby anytime soon or at all...I can borrow...
Then I find out that one of the girls in my gurl circle here in my hometown is having a baby too, maybe twins...sooo lol, she was the 1st one in the circle...we sort of guessed that...now we have to move the guess to nr 2. Funny is that a little more than 2 years ago, they had me down for nr 1 to have a baby...they can't have been thinking clearly because I see myself as umm not having a baby anytime soon or at all...I can borrow...
Nr 2: E
Nr 3: G
Nr 4: T
Nr 5: S
Time to start that hate love again...
I'm honestly super out of shape...2 days of eating right feels like 2 weeks...it's torture. I have made sure I can run a little and run stairs without feeling anything from the chin splints TG. Time to start that exercising again so I'm looking up Mixed Martial Arts and Zumba...I need to start with something fun to actually get started...Kick Ass and shake :)
Results plz come fast to keep my motivation up...
Where can I get this guy lol...
So I'm watching youtube videos and see this add saying fashion, buy now. I'm like hey hottie and go in to the site. Well it's kind of obvious I wasn't gonna check out the clothes only to find there are no models...no hot guy...just pictures of clothes without models, without this hottie...dissapointed.
Yeah, he would definetly keep me warm during a cold winter ;)...
but what my daughter...
Dad: "My horoscope said to be extra patient if I have kids today, I'm guessing it's now"...(deep breath)...but what my daughter?"
"but...bla bla..."
"You are babbling"
"No, we are having a discussion"
"You are having a discussion"
"I'm reasoning ok"
"Sure you are...Watch a movie?"
"but.......ok"
WTF...
I have started to sleep with the light on again :/...and im still up at 5 in the morning, like i havent been bored enough during the day...
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Bad teacher
Getting home from work I was so tired that I skipped the concert my whole town was going to probably. ..Timbuktu...well I have seen him a couple of times before and talked to him in LA of all places.
My dad gave me a mojito when I came home, probably thought it was needed yappin about work. He pointed to the wine bottle and said I could have a glas for dinner if I wanted to...I said I pass cause it would be my 3rd night drinking wine lol...night before I was cooking for my colleagues kinda drunk having wine to the movie while they were playing football.
So I saw bad teacher and had a glas anyway...remembering it was actually my 4th night drinking wine...you know that expression "give them the finger and they take the whole hand"...well I didn't take a glass, I took the rest of the bottle. Inspiration of the night Cameron Diaz in Bad Teacher...her character was kinda dope lmao...like who gives a fuck...and then I slept like a baby...shitty movie thou...
My mom is selling her friends son...
You would have laughed out loud if you had just heard my mom trying to basically sell her friends son to me. "I haven't seen him before and he is sooo nice, do you know who he is?"..."Yeah mom he is actually kinda cute"..."He knows who you are to and he has a good job and he likes to travel a lot, just like you, he is soo nice bla bla bla"..."Yes mom"...
What does she want me to do? Call him and say: hey my mom knows your mom so let's hook up...or how about my mom just sold you to me so I'm calling to claim you.
What does she want me to do? Call him and say: hey my mom knows your mom so let's hook up...or how about my mom just sold you to me so I'm calling to claim you.
I guess this is when my friends thinks my mom is cute haha, for me it's a little annoying since it's my mom, but I love her anyway :P
Without these 2...
...and Suzz I would be a lost case coming home...last weekend I managed to see all of you <3...
...drinks with Ninis and Tess in the town above...and Party, dancing and laughter at Suzz in the town under...thank god for the train card.
A guy stuck his head inside the window and asked if he could come in and Suzz were like no and her roomie was like I'm sorry bro and gave him the knuckles, while another girl thought he left and said fuck him and turned the music up...the guy got so pissed he backed up to make some speed to throw a full closed beer can in through the open window...if somebody had gotten that in the head....damn...Suzz was like how the fuck did he miss everything in the kitchen haha...drunk ass...
...drinks with Ninis and Tess in the town above...and Party, dancing and laughter at Suzz in the town under...thank god for the train card.
A guy stuck his head inside the window and asked if he could come in and Suzz were like no and her roomie was like I'm sorry bro and gave him the knuckles, while another girl thought he left and said fuck him and turned the music up...the guy got so pissed he backed up to make some speed to throw a full closed beer can in through the open window...if somebody had gotten that in the head....damn...Suzz was like how the fuck did he miss everything in the kitchen haha...drunk ass...
Wiggah and Hustler
So I post a lil Wayne song on the chat to my white swedish LA friend:
"Nice, but a Lil Wayne song without Eminem is like an egg sandwish without kaviar...Worthless...Eminem <3"
"Haha...ur sooo white :P, how the fuck can eminem even be in this song...nahh"
"Wait a sec...did u just say 'ur sooo white'... :D"
"Yupp"
"Haha, you little wiggah..."
"I sold ur stuff, I'm sucha hutsler...can almost say I'm a little black, u like that huh...;)"
"Depends, did ur dick get bigger in the process :P"
I love our retarded chat conversations about all or nothing Hustler...
"Nice, but a Lil Wayne song without Eminem is like an egg sandwish without kaviar...Worthless...Eminem <3"
"Haha...ur sooo white :P, how the fuck can eminem even be in this song...nahh"
"Wait a sec...did u just say 'ur sooo white'... :D"
"Yupp"
"Haha, you little wiggah..."
"I sold ur stuff, I'm sucha hutsler...can almost say I'm a little black, u like that huh...;)"
"Depends, did ur dick get bigger in the process :P"
I love our retarded chat conversations about all or nothing Hustler...
Have to...
...shape up...if I can't go back to LA and live I will have to reboot and get on with it...just hard. This place makes me not only very sleepy, but also super depressed. I'm waiting for shit to happen, my friends have a life, a job. But here it's not like in LA where anything can happen and this swedish summer f-in sucks, cause there is nooo sun.
Sometimes when stuff finally happens it's like I have to force myself, cause honestly I lost feelings...I know I should hang out, start over, but if it's with force...wtf...
Can I wake up in my LA bed tomorrow morning and this all be a dream...
How to love...como amar
But I admire your poppin’ bottles and dippin’
Just as much as you admire bartending and strippin’
Baby, so don’t be mad, nobody else trippin’
You see a lot of crooks and the crooks still crook...
The cute girl version with a lil spanish :)
At last home from work
Working 10 hours a day and more when I needed to be at Ikea and live with your colleagues for almost a week is just too much. At first it's fun, but after a while the pulling each others leg thing gets irritating and just all that and trying to keep the mood up is taking up a lot off strength.
Glasses of wine was needed in the evenings to calm down, especially since we were fixing up an entire floor in a huge all empty building that used to be a home for elderly, so yupp there has been some death and the whole place just looked creepy. I had to sleep in Marias room and everybody thought it was so fun scarying me even more like I wasn't afraid enough from the noise I made my self. Well, we succeeded in turning it into teenage rooms. Can't take pics of the property thou :/
Grow up!?
Ever since I was 12 I have been feeling so much older than I was...party party...boyzzzz. Later, seeing 12 year olds...I'm like how could I ever think that, we were tiny haha. When I was 17 and working in a store older guys would try and pick me up cause they thought I was 23...I just looked older I guess. School and future and speaking my mind has always been important and I could express myself like many others couldn't.
At 19 when people told me not to stress it with my boyfriend I did not listen. He was 4 years older and I was trying to get at his level already being done with his education and all. But you know what they say, take at least 2 years of a guys age cause they are a little behind compared to girls ;) Still, now I'm the same preacher, don't stress it. Even thou my friend has pointed out all the things I in fact did do with my life during those 5 years I feel like I missed out on that wonderful time that could have just been me against the world.
So after it was over I was a bit relived, I packed, did what I should have done at 20 and went to London and then to the US. I was 19 again...when some people tell me to grow up, I'm like you know nothing about my life, I'm catching up...I can be 19, 25, but I can also be freakin 7.
...and when I play, live and write blog or status it's all with a ;) ;P...I know my age, I know I can sound stupid, young...whatever...it's psychology of life...
Fuck growing up too much...it's boring...
At 19 when people told me not to stress it with my boyfriend I did not listen. He was 4 years older and I was trying to get at his level already being done with his education and all. But you know what they say, take at least 2 years of a guys age cause they are a little behind compared to girls ;) Still, now I'm the same preacher, don't stress it. Even thou my friend has pointed out all the things I in fact did do with my life during those 5 years I feel like I missed out on that wonderful time that could have just been me against the world.
So after it was over I was a bit relived, I packed, did what I should have done at 20 and went to London and then to the US. I was 19 again...when some people tell me to grow up, I'm like you know nothing about my life, I'm catching up...I can be 19, 25, but I can also be freakin 7.
...and when I play, live and write blog or status it's all with a ;) ;P...I know my age, I know I can sound stupid, young...whatever...it's psychology of life...
Fuck growing up too much...it's boring...
U know that guy...
...that leaves a print in your life...
It's not even just the fact that he is on the other side of the world, it's maybe that you feel like there is some unfinished business...like what if? That you are not really compatible for more than what was. Maybe the fact that he is younger and have his whole life in front of him in that place...you know that age when everything is new cause you just entered a new phase in life that really should be lived with just himself. I can't even place it, maybe it's a crush, maybe it's just a desire or a what if...
...but what I would give now for a hug and a kiss...
It's not even just the fact that he is on the other side of the world, it's maybe that you feel like there is some unfinished business...like what if? That you are not really compatible for more than what was. Maybe the fact that he is younger and have his whole life in front of him in that place...you know that age when everything is new cause you just entered a new phase in life that really should be lived with just himself. I can't even place it, maybe it's a crush, maybe it's just a desire or a what if...
Give me my mobile surf...
So people told me to get the phone company 3, so I did...and now I can't get internet to work on it...called support that told me to air the SIM card for 10-15 min...???...well it didn't work bitch and conveniently the support closed after those 15 minutes...
F this...I'm not gonna be without internet again while working up there...
F this...I'm not gonna be without internet again while working up there...
F laundry
How am I suppose to know if I will be able to wash between 12 and 5 the 10th? Can't see into the future you know...How about when I want to...which didn't work out, so now I'm packing dirty laundry to wash my clothes when I get to the apartment where we are gonna work...just awsome...
Fight the power :P
Fight the power :P
Off on another design job
Going away on another job up in Sweden, this time to be an interior designer again...lmao...for a 8 bedroom apartment.
Yeey, and I get to poke D again...the drive from the last job was so long that I just sat there poking him saying poke, poke, poke...then I pull out my red bull and he is like nooooo, you do not need that on top of your speeded self...click...open..."Let's see what happens" ;P...later we are the two people out of 7 that were strongly diggin bite the pillow baby...haha...sry collegues, meet the annoying retarded me...after a week I couldn't just stay "normal"...so hard...
Loved that my boss is putting the boys on cleaning duty once we get up there and me and fabulous M are gonna shop big at IKEA yet again :D Hopefully is all gonna go well and I get some paper...
F speeding cams
I'm all for this liberalism thing, but also for order in society which might impose on some freedom. But I'm telling you speeding cams in not highly populated, children playing here areas, is a violation against my freedom...the speed signs are like the pirate code...guidelines...
My boss loved how I was speeding and breaking before every speeding cam...gahh...I should have been a race car driver, buuut not the point...F those cams...grrrrr...
My boss loved how I was speeding and breaking before every speeding cam...gahh...I should have been a race car driver, buuut not the point...F those cams...grrrrr...
Anyone seen my keys?
I know, nothing has changed since I got my first set of keys, lost them everyday...so many keys, phones, bikes and other stuff GONE. What's worse is that I'm thinking of my black string with skulls that were on the keys :/
So now I have my dads keys and figured I would need a bigger string on them and dad pulled out one that is wider and says WHISKY...gosh, now I'm a look alcoholic too...
So now I have my dads keys and figured I would need a bigger string on them and dad pulled out one that is wider and says WHISKY...gosh, now I'm a look alcoholic too...
Work and useless men :P
What's wrong with men today?
1. Two men in my team help each other out putting together an IKEA drawer, when they come to the back and need to hammer nails into it they ask each other if the other one can hammer, nope, none of them. So I have to leave my station take the hammer, put some nails between my lips and start hammering. D said "I wish a girl from the 16th century seen you now"...and then the only two girls also got to drill...
2. I take out a three seat sofa and screw and turn it, when 2 guys from my team comes down to help, they don't take the other sofa or help me screw the one I got, they take up the fabric and are 2 people to "dress" the sofa and they even had trouble with that haha...
So a friends excuse was that guys today don't feel like doing (learning) shit like that...what and I do? but I can, aint rocket science...Get into the f-in kitchen, do my laundry and clean then...equality has reached another form...
Next time I'm buying the tools and I want a belt...
My chopper lol...
D had a fuck you day...maybe just towards me :P
This girl M sure know how to drink...wine, water, whisky...girl power...
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